I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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