I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
