I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
