Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
