hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
