is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
