Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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