Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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