well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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