Where did you get a picture of my penis
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
