Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
