Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
