using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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