OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
