naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
