she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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