then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
