I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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