please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
