It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm both gender and math confused
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
