Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
