We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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