Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
