Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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