dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
