Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize