so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
