he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
