"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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