the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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