North Korea, Best Korea!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
