It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize