Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
