We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
