i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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