"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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