But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize