I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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