Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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