Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
