I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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