i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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