my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
