i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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