theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
