Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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