I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
