he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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