no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
