I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
