I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
