You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
