haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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