My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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