Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I didn't notice because vodka
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Randomize
