32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
