You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
