best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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