How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
